Friday, December 31, 2010

Another one in the books


Lyla's at Grandma and Grandpa's tonight while Julie and I bring in the new year. We had dinner out and saw a movie because we are total party animals. Julie wanted to get shit-faced, but I reminded her that she's 72 months pregnant.

Another year is about to start. Here's what 2010 looked like.

January


February


March


April


May



June


July


August


September


October


November


December


Happy New Year. Suddenly the prospect of being a father of two feels very, very real.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Countdown


We had dinner at Jodie, Matt, and Ava's house. Ava is ten months old and is this close to running around the house. I don't even remember the ten-month-old version of Lyla. Wait, hold on a sec. There she was:


I wrote on that day about how exciting it was that Lyla stood unassisted for three seconds. Not that mobility is a contest, but I think Ava might be winning.

It was pajama day at daycare, and around noon they piled all the kids into the gym and had a New Year's countdown followed by a dance party. That's more active than Julie and I will be during the actual countdown. Really it's a countdown to the year we'll have another kid.

Maybe it'll be a 1/11/11 baby. Or a 1/1/11 baby. Or a 12/31/10 tax-break baby. Julie had an appointment yesterday, though, and the cervix door is not the least bit ajar. So maybe it's looking more like Groundhog Day.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

In training


Lyla has turned to the dark side of reading and shunned good, hearty books for glossy, advertisement-filled magazines.

Or has she? We're pretty sure she's just training for her black belt in toddler dexterity by finger-thumbing through magazines page by page. Her eight-page books aren't long enough, and our adult books don't have enough pictures. Magazines are perfect.

Turn. Turn. Turn.

"Hey, Lyla."

Turn. Turn.

"Lyla?"

Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn.

"Lyla, say cheese."



Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Calculus


I gave Lyla a Dora sticker book for Christmas, and it's her new security blanket. She sleeps with it at bedtime. A sticker book. Women are nutty.

At bedtime Lyla decided that if it was all the same to us, she would just stay up and operate without sleep from now on. It was not all the same to us. First we tried to wait her out after she opened her door and cried by the gate, but that didn't work. I went up there and failed right away. I only know beginning algebra, and an upset Lyla is like calculus, or at least trigonometry.

Julie knows calculus. She went upstairs, took into account all the variables (ha ha, get it?), and yoinked the sticker book right out of Lyla's hands.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--"

"I'll give this back to you once you get into bed."

"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah."

That wasn't the end of things; Lyla continued to get out of bed, get her book taken away, get back into bed, and so on. But eventually Julie broke her spirit, and Lyla put the sticker book directly under her face, nuzzled it, and closed her eyes.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Daya-Daya


Lyla woke up at 5:00 this morning. She was nice enough to read a magazine while I dozed.

For some reason, the word Dada has evolved into a vaguely southern-sounding Daya-Daya.

"Ah need moh Teeyos, Daya-Daya."

"You need more Cheerios, what?"

"Peez. Moh Teeyos, Daya-Daya."

In other news, check out my sweet ride.


It's a 2008 Subaru Outback, and it has heated leather seats. With all of Julie's amniotic unpredictability, would it be rude if I requested that she sit on small stack of towels?

You don't need to answer that; I know the answer.

Hey, maybe Daya-Daya is supposed to be Australian. You know, like Outback? Clearly the child operates on an elevated mental plane.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Lady


I took Lyla to the zoo today, and she carried that purse around everywhere. When it was time to leave and she put up her usual fuss about wearing her jacket, I told her I was going to count to three and she could either put her jacket on or lose the purse.

Suddenly the jacket was a pleasant and logical option.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas highlights

Lyla sometimes gets fixated on a book and requests that you read it three or four times in one sitting. This morning it was The Christmas Story.


Jesus wins! Suck it, Santa.

Before heading over to my parents' house, Lyla opened our gifts. Or rather, she instructed her mother to open them. "Open dis."


If you recall, my family has the bizarre tradition where the children go upstairs before the gift opening begins. They wait there until they hear the Nutcracker Suite start playing downstairs. Back in the day, I think it was a way for the adults to have an early morning cocktail.

Well anyway, I went up there with Lyla since she's the only kid left. She only needed a little moral support.




Hey, did I mention that Julie's pregnancy nausea has returned? Hurray! It happens to some women late-term, according to the internet. Julie's favorite medicine is the popsicle, and she's been eating them constantly. All she wants are the orange ones, but she doesn't mind the red ones, and once all those are gone she'll tolerate the purple ones.

Today we got all the way down to the purple.


What to do when your toddler insists on her own popsicle, which is pure sugar and the size of her forearm: run it under hot water until it's two-thirds gone.

Let's end on a disturbing note, shall we?




Merry Christmas, everyone!