Calculus

I gave Lyla a Dora sticker book for Christmas, and it's her new security blanket. She sleeps with it at bedtime. A sticker book. Women are nutty.

At bedtime Lyla decided that if it was all the same to us, she would just stay up and operate without sleep from now on. It was not all the same to us. First we tried to wait her out after she opened her door and cried by the gate, but that didn't work. I went up there and failed right away. I only know beginning algebra, and an upset Lyla is like calculus, or at least trigonometry.

Julie knows calculus. She went upstairs, took into account all the variables (ha ha, get it?), and yoinked the sticker book right out of Lyla's hands.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--"

"I'll give this back to you once you get into bed."

"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah."

That wasn't the end of things; Lyla continued to get out of bed, get her book taken away, get back into bed, and so on. But eventually Julie broke her spirit, and Lyla put the sticker book directly under her face, nuzzled it, and closed her eyes.