Stoplights

This afternoon I taught Lyla what happens at stoplights. "Green light, green light, go go go!" The lip readers in the next car thought I was a total spaz.

"Ahnge."

"Ooh yes, the light turned orange. It's actually called a yellow light, but I see your point. Orange lights mean to--"

How do you explain to a 21-month-old what to do at a yellow/orange light? Do you say it means to be careful, or do you say it means to speed the hell through it?

"Orange lights mean to be careful," I said, speeding the hell through it.

"More."

"Oh, we'll see plenty of stoplights, don't you worry." We drove two more blocks.

"Red!"

"Red light, red light, stop stop stop!"

"More geen."

"Yeah you said it, kid."

"More ahnge."

"We'll see. Hey Lyla, what do you do at a red light?"

I love when she pauses to think about something. Her eyes freeze on some indeterminate spot, almost as though she's about to poop.

"Top."

"Yes, you stop! What do you do at a green light?"

"More geen." She started to think again and/or poop. "Go."

Later at home, I showed her off to Julie.

"Lyla, tell Mama what you do at a red light."

"More ahnge. Geen."

"Yes, there are green lights, too. What do you do at a green light?"

"Top."

I think it should remain illegal for babies to drive cars.