Conferences...again

I am sitting here once again at parent/teacher conferences. Six weeks remain before summer vacation. All of my students have approximately the same grades they always have, and parents can access all grades online. Therefore, there are only two logical reasons why a child's parents would show up to talk to me tonight.

1. They want to thank me and give me a present.

2. They feel they should apologize for their child. And give me a present.

Five minutes have passed. I just told a lovely Midwestern couple that their son continues to earn an A in my class, as he has all year. He is delightful, so obviously they had nothing to apologize for. Nor did they bring me a present, however, so the conference accomplished nothing.

Oops, just had another one, another lovely Midwestern couple whose daughter has a B+, has always had a B+, and likely will continue to maintain a B+ through graduate school. Again, there was no present.

I need three wooden boxes with slots on the top: "Apologies," "Gratitude," and "Gift Cards." Then I'll set a cardboard cutout of myself in the chair and go home to my daughter, who will never be exactly this age again.

Later at home: