No outs

Years ago in an education class, the professor said that self-esteem is like a stack of poker chips. If you have a lot of chips, then you can risk a lot, and so forth.

It's a fine analogy, but let's extend it and say your stack represents your emotional well-being and happiness independent of self-esteem. You wager a portion of your stack on each relationship in your life, so when everything is prosperous with your people, the chip count goes up and you're happy; when things fall apart, chips disappear and you're less happy.

With Julie and other family members, a lot of my chips are in play. With friends and colleagues, not as many.

But with Lyla, I can't help it: I'm all-in. Every single chip is in play all the time.

That's why parenting scares the hell out of me.