Barf head

We leave for the airport in about an hour. In this photo Lyla is saying "Mmm" about yogurt.

Grandma Jackie is in town to tend to Lyla's demands while Julie and I slack off in San Diego. We started the vacation early by ditching Grandma and baby and going out to dinner. We got a text at 7:05 saying that Lyla had been bathed, was happy, and was in bed.

Fast-forward to just after 1:30 in the morning. I heard Lyla crying and figured she had sent her three binkies careening to the floor. I entered the nursery to find the child sitting in her crib, covered with vomit. The vast majority of this vomit was on the top of her head. It was as though she vomited skyward and it all came down in the same place. Either that or a leprechaun still hung over from St. Patrick's Day sneaked in there and decided a baby covered with his barf should be the treasure at the end of the rainbow.

But regardless, Lyla was not pleased. After waking up Julie, I picked up Lyla with a large pair of tongs and deposited her in the bath. After hosing her off, she slept soundly the rest of the night.

Julie and I did not. See, the last time this happened, it was a stomach bug that resulted in both of us becoming vomitous days later. Would it hit us in San Diego? On the plane coming home, perhaps? In a cab?

It could've been something Lyla ate, we decided. But we were 93% sure that Grandma's 7:05 text was legit and that they didn't secretly stay up late cavorting with men and getting hammered.

This morning a babbling, silly Lyla woke up and wanted to talk about giraffes and ducks. Nowhere was the sorority cautionary tale from last night. I changed her diaper and took her to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and it was there that I made a startling discovery. It was something Lyla ate: a pea of fluoride toothpaste. Yesterday we bought new toothpaste, but we didn't look closely enough at the label, and you can't use fluoride toothpaste until a kid learns to spit it out. Lyla's doesn't spit yet. Our bad.

After yogurt, I explained to Lyla what happened. "Your teeth are so strong that they'll still be attached to your skull thousands of years after you die. Fluoride is a chemical that attacks the plaque that grows on those teeth. Imagine what it would do to your tummy. Daddy's sorry."